Blog Archives

With Purpose

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Chicago was such a blast!

The title of this post really highlights the way I’ve felt the last several months and the experiences I’ve had the chance to take in.  Since my last update here I’ve really come to find an even deeper purpose for the form of expression I display to the world.  Unlike previous years, where I’d get glammed up and mostly stay indoors and occasionally venture out in public, this year I’ve exclusively dressed up with the explicit purpose to venture out and meet up with friends, catch a fun show around town, or in the case of this past April, head up to Chicago for a gender nonconforming kind of a weekend with amazing friends.  All this, fitting into my goal of making my place in the world, especially out in public and enjoying the company of great people.

This all leads me to my continued efforts at putting positive energy out into the world and saying “Yes!” to opportunities that pop up.  In May, my new friend and performer, Goldie Dee, was hosting a tea dance and drag show and I knew I couldn’t miss it.  I was feeling a bit lazy and was just thinking of showing up as my male self, but I had the feeling that it was a good opportunity to dress up for a Sunday afternoon show, feeling like some good things could come from this event, and my feelings didn’t lead me astray that day!

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Goldie is so fun!

The show and the performers were amazing, and I had a great time having the chance to talk to them a bit in the dressing room and in between acts.  While in the crowd, something happened which has become more frequent over the past year or so, I was stopped by a couple of people asking if I was a performer or saying that I should be up on stage.  After making a Facebook post about the evening and the thought of maybe hitting the stage myself, I was greeted the following morning by an invitation from the next month’s tea dance host, and a queen I admire, Bella DuBalle.  She asked if I’d like to do a number in the upcoming show and my heart immediately started to race, and before I let too much time pass I just said YES, I’m in!  Beyond the opportunity to perform for the first time, this show would also help raise money for the Metamorphosis Project, whose goal is to help homeless LGBT youth in the area.

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It’s official, I’m in the show!

The next few weeks were filled with planning for a song I’ve always thought of performing to (Love Letter by Clairy Browne & The Bangin’ Rackettes), practicing some moves, planning for a couple of outfits to wear, and practicing some more dramatic makeup looks to display.

On the day of the show things started nice and early getting myself ready and gathering the things I’d need to take.  This is where it was great to have my wife there to help out; she was amazing all day helping out, even being my social media manager LOL.  The other queens I’d be performing with (Moth, Imagene Azengraber, and Coco Flores) and I wondered around the pub for an hour or so before the show, schmoozing with the growing crowd.  As the show got under way I kept track of when it was my time to head to the dressing room and change into the fun bold pink dress I had picked out for my number.  As I was waiting for my cue, I had a great opportunity to talk to Coco, who was gracious to share her experiences and thoughts with me.

As my song started I swung the door open, strutted down to the middle of the crowd and started to do what I had planned and before I knew it, it was over.  The song went by so fast and I had only done a small amount of the moves I was thinking to do.  I became truly overwhelmed by the generosity of the people in attendance, not only with the tips, but also with the love I felt from everyone that I couldn’t help but say thank you to each person as I was trying to keep on track with the song.

The rest of the afternoon was spent walking the room, chatting with friends, meeting new people, and supporting the other acts.  By the end of the day I was happy to have learned SO much from this opportunity; what to do, what not to do, don’t overthink things.  I got great feedback from the other performers, which will only help me going forward, and couldn’t thank them enough for sharing with me.  I don’t think this opportunity would have come my way if I’d been a little lazy that one day and miss out on an experience of a lifetime, reinforcing the ideal of never passing up on an opportunity when it shows up.

In the end, this whole experience reaffirmed so many feelings.  The love I felt from the city and the community made me feel once again that after living here 8 years, we are where we need to be.  We absolutely love the people here and the friends we’ve made.  Now I think I’m ready for a little break this summer, which will give me a chance to try some new makeup techniques, think of some new songs that might work for my style, and to keep working to evolving the form of expression I present to the world, all with purpose.

Much love to all,

Katie Amor

High Fashion and High Rollers

img_9032I think that I share many people’s sentiment that the past few weeks, since the inauguration, have been a bit difficult.  I’ve been challenging myself most days to try and stay off of social media and avoid the news headlines, but ultimately failing to do so on most days and falling into the rabbit hole that is the depressing situation we face today.  Since I’m an immigrant to this country, a scientist, and a gender fluid individual, it’s hard to let these things pass by without being affected by them.  So, with all that heaviness it was with great pleasure and relief to have the opportunity to go to this year’s Mystic Krewe of Pegasus of Memphis Mardi Gras Ball, and blow off some steam, all while helping raise money for charity.

The theme for this year’s formal ball and fundraiser was Las Vegas, which meant plenty of glitz, glamour, and high rollers.  This also gave my wife a chance to dress up for a formal event, which we hardly ever have a chance to participate in, and something she’s been wanting to do since most days she’s in drab nursing scrubs.  For this year’s event, we decided to rent some fancy designer dresses from Rent the Runway, which allowed us to rent high priced dress for a more than reasonable price.  Mine was a lovely Elie Tahari dress, while my wife was stunning in Bradley Mischka.

I was excited for this event, not only for the chance to dress all fancy like, but for the opportunity to see some familiar faces.  It’s been steady work over the years to build connections with a great community.  The first time we went out to an LGBT events like this, we hardly knew anyone and wouldn’t stick around for too long, or do much after the event.  This year it’s been nice to see good friends and catch up, while meeting new people, which I took full advantage of.  A couple of those new friends, David (who has a wonderful blog), works with my wife and has a twin, who is a fierce local drag queen named Goldie Dee.  We all had a great time watching the different acts on stage, everything from singers, dancers, drag queens, and aerial performers.

I sometimes get asked “Are you different as Katie, compared to your male side”?  The answer I give is mostly no.  I feel very comfortable in either expression, and I don’t feel like I’m presenting as a different person, but there are a few subtle differences.  For example, throughout the night, we’d take a break and sit at our assigned table, but that wouldn’t last long as I would get the urge to walk around and mingle with the crowd and chat with new friends.  As a guy, I would tend to have less of an urge to do that, and blend in more.  Katie is a bit more outgoing in that respect.  As Katie, I also tend to say “Yes” to more things.  At the end of the event a small group were going to Mollie’s, (A beautiful old Victorian house turned into a lounge with amazing cocktails and music), and as a guy, I would have tended to make up some excuse for why I couldn’t make it out, just because I’m a bit more reserved and shy.  But as Katie, I was like “Absolutely!  We’ll see y’all there!”  That attitude lead to some great conversations with great people.

In the end, I felt more comfortable than ever as I keep challenging myself and pushing beyond those boundaries I’ve put in my way.  All this is my effort to make my mark in the world and claim my space to express myself.

Much love to all,

Katie Amor

Keep on Rouxlin’

IMG_6156There’s nothing quite like a nice Sunday with friends and a pot of gumbo.  Ok, make that a couple of hundred friends and over a dozen pots of delicious gumbo, some tasty King cakes, and a fun Mardi Gras atmosphere!

Last year my wife and I went for the first time to the Tennessee Equality Project’s annual gumbo cooking competition.  This fundraiser helps out TEP in their efforts in supporting LGBT issues in the state.  Anyone can help the cause by buying a ticket, sampling dozens of yummy gumbos, and voting for their favorite.  When I went last year I was kicking myself, thinking that this would have been a great opportunity to take Katie out on the town and show support for our good friend, Nathan, who was competing in the event.  I made a commitment that this year would be different, and my goodness was it ever!

As this event was a contest/Mardi Gras party, I of course had to break out my good ol’ glue gun and put together some fun and colorful accessories for the event.  I knew I wanted to dress up my new hair, so I threw together a nice headpiece, which ended up getting a lot of positive attention.  Oh, since my last post I took advantage of some great online deals and got myself a wonderful new wig called Heidi by Jon Renau, and I absolutely love her! 🙂

This year, my wife and I were more than happy to help Nathan out in setting up for the event, transporting some chairs, tables, gumbos, rice, drinks, and many, many King cakes! I made sure to plan accordingly in advance, so I had some nice comfortable flats to help haul everything from the car, and some nice booties for when the paying public started to arrive.

As a general trend, especially with my trip up to the Twin Cities last November, I was much less stressed out or anxious than ever before.  The more and more one does this, the easier and less stressful it becomes.  I was happy to meet some of the others enlisted by Nathan to help out, and also happy and relaxed to walk around the event floor, meeting so many new people.  My good friend Gabby, who knows a ton of people around town introduced me to anyone she knew, and I was more than happy to strike up a conversation.

One of the big things I realize now after a couple of days thinking about the evening was how I kept wanting to walk around the room and interact with people.  Nathan’s team, called “Rouxlin’ On The River” had a table set up with chairs, and I could have sat there most of the night, near the table with people I knew, but I instead wanted to keep circling the room to see what would happen.  I was stopped a few times by random people for photos, many gave me warm compliments, and others a wonderful smile.  In other words, I didn’t think I’d want to put myself out there like that, and as an introvert I usually wouldn’t do that, but damn that was fun!  Human interaction…who knew it could be so much fun! LOL 🙂

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Go Team!!!

By the end of the night, I had made some great new friends, met a bunch of new people, and we were all happy and proud for Nathan for receiving third place for his turducken gumbo, which was to die for!  What an amazing cook!  Congratulations to him for a job well done!!

Much love to all,

Katie Amor

New Found Perspectives

As with so many of my previous outings and big events, I like to look at those experiences and try to see how my perspectives have changed and what I’ve learned about myself. With my recent trip to the Twin Cities to visit my friend Hannah and the MN-T Girls group, my views have definitely changed and I certainty have learned quite a lot about myself from such a huge opportunity.

One of the big things I noticed looking back (especially compared to the first time I ever went out in public) was how relaxed and excited I was. In previous occasions, I used to work myself up so much, mentally and physically, about heading out in public, worrying about the general public and what they thought. But by the time I was due to meet Hannah at a nice restaurant in downtown Minneapolis on a Friday night, I wasn’t nervous at all. I was more excited than anything else! The same goes for the day I met up with all the other girls for drinks and dinner.  Looking back, this was a big step forward because I hated how anxious I would get sometimes, and now I feel like I can do whatever I want. I don’t care much that I may be 6’6” in heels, and don’t have a voice to match my appearance. This trip really made me focus on the important things, which is to enjoy the company one has around them, and I definitely did!

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My “light” look… 🙂

The positive experiences continued the next day when Hannah, my wife, and I got some makeovers done at an Ulta store by a wonderful makeup artist. But before we meet up at Ulta, I had to do some light makeup, which if you know me at all is a difficult thing for me to do. I love doing big bold eyes and generally makeup on the heavier side of things, but since I was getting makeup done I didn’t want to do my full treatment and I didn’t want to go without any makeup either. That being said, I was happy to learn that I could do a lighter look, something more appropriate for a daytime look.  While Hannah was getting her makeup done at Ulta, I wondered around the store with a smile on my face. I was happy to be out in the world, doing everyday things, being the individual I wanted to be on that day, with great company in tow. What more could one ask for!

The absolutely biggest thing I learned or realized about myself came to me after we made it back home to Memphis. Going forward, getting all dressed up and having a day in at the house won’t mean as much as it once did. What I mean is now that I’ve pushed my comfort zone to new limits, what I used to do, just won’t do any more. There are new frontiers to explore as Katie and I hope to keep pushing myself with every opportunity that comes along.

One has to be confident and fill ones space to show the world we belong and we don’t have anything to be afraid about. It was great to have this feeling reaffirmed and pushed to new heights.

I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving. Much love to all,

Katie Amor

A Birthday Excursion

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Spoonbridge and Cherry

Most years on my birthday I tend not to bring attention to myself. I don’t announce it on Facebook, or let everyone at work know “It’s my birthday”. This year has been a huge difference from all those previous years. One of my best friends in the world, Hannah McKnight, and I have for a long time causally talked about getting together someday to meet in person. Last spring we started to seriously talk about the possibility and since we both share a November birthday, it was only natural that we got together and celebrate. And girl did we ever!

My wife joyed the trip, as we made a nice little vacation out of our visit to Minneapolis. As the time passed and we got closer to November I started to make detailed plans for our trip. I knew I was going to be getting dressed up twice, once for a dinner with Hannah, and then another outing with the MN T-Girls group to a brewery and dinner. I spent a couple of weeks thinking about the outfits that would be appropriate for each event along with the right shoes and purse to go with it. In all, my wife and I had one checked bag and one carry on bag each, giving us some options in case plans changed. More on planning and packing in a future post…

We arrived in town on a Wednesday and headed straight to Surly Brewing Company, which is a very popular craft brewery in town. We thoroughly enjoyed the delicious beer and food along with a fun tour. That night we enjoyed a stand up show by Jim Jefferies, who is one of our favorite comedians, and we were not disappointed as he served up a two hour-long stand up comedy routine.

Thursday was spent going to the Walker Art Center to take in some awesome exhibits they had on display and of course check out the Spoonbridge and Cherry sculpture out in the sculpture garden. We also checked out some shopping at the Mall Of America and some shops along Grand Avenue near St. Paul.

The real big events started on Friday when we were due to meet up with Hannah for dinner at Ling and Louie’s downtown Minneapolis, just a few blocks away from our hotel. I started to get ready in the afternoon since I had lots to do, removing hair, doing my makeup, and finally deciding on what I was going to wear. On our walk to the restaurant I was so excited to finally meet my friend who I had only ever communicated with through email. So exciting!! 🙂

Hannah was dressed in a beautiful print dress, while I decided to go with a pair of jeans, and button up top and jacket. The jacket came in handy because for us southerners from Tennessee, it was cold! For Hannah, it was warm enough not to even wear a jacket! LOL. Meeting up with Hannah was amazing. We talked, we ate, we drank, and had an amazing time finally meeting face-to-face.

As the night ended, we finalized the plans for the following day. On Saturday we met up at an Ulta store near St. Paul and we all had something done. Hannah and I had makeover (thank you Tawni!!) while my wife had her hair styled (she looked amazing!!). The hair and makeup people at Ulta did an amazing job on us and were so very helpful. I even got some new products, because a girl can never have too much makeup! 🙂  Hannah was wearing a red hot dress, while I felt amazing in my black crochet dress and jean jackets.

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Two happy girls after some makeovers!

Next up was Sidhe Brewing Company, which is an LGBT-friendly place to enjoy a pint of beer or two. I especially enjoyed the nut brown ale. We also got to meet members of the MN T-Girls group who were celebrating their two-year anniversary as a group. It was great to meet the girls and great to see the brewery so busy with people looking to enjoy some good times.

The night ended with an amazing dinner at PUBLIC, a wonderful restaurant in downtown St. Paul. We sat at the chef’s table as we enjoyed each other’s company over some tasty wine, delicious food, and a yummy cheesecake. I enjoyed getting a chance to talk to the other girls, and make some rough plans for a future get together. Before calling it a night, I thanked everyone for such great company and a warm welcome to the twin cities. I also want to thank Hannah for planning the outings and being such a great host and an amazing friend. This trip really allowed our friendship to bloom. It was a great experience and something completely different to celebrate a birthday.

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A wonderful night out with some amazing women!

In closing, this trip really pushed me outside my normal routines, and I think I really needed it. There were so many new and first time experiences packed into just a couple of days, which I hope to elaborate more in the future. First time traveling with all my femme clothes, first time agonizing about what to pack for a trip, first time getting a makeover, first time using a multi-stall woman’s restroom (most other places I had been to were single occupancy, lower anxiety…), first time dressing up on back-to-back days, first time wandering around downtown St. Paul in 4 inch heels after dinner trying to find where you parked your rental car… LOL. I’m so happy to have made the trip, I am happy to have made some new friends, happy to have experienced and learn so many new things, and happy to have finally met my BFF, Hannah! YAY! 🙂

I hope you all get a chance to experience something new and break the routines from time to time. Much love to all,

Katie Amor

Falling Into Place

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Yay Fall!!

There’s nothing quite like the fall season, with everyone else in the country drinking their pumpkin spiced coffees, pumpkin beers, and other pumpkin flavored things that just aren’t for me. So what do I look forward to in the fall, well… the fashion, of course! 🙂

The fall season is the time when I get to dress up more, continue to build up the confidence I’ve been working on before the summer heat, and take advantage of the fall fashion deals! The fall season started with a fun outing to the Mid-South Pride event downtown Memphis, followed by an awesome performance by Jinkx Monsoon and capped by a couple of drinks at an Irish pub in the presence of a couple of co-workers. By the end of the night, I had spent about 12 hours in makeup, wondered around downtown (where there was also a performance of Disney’s Frozen on Ice, so lots of kids and parents), and built up my confidence as I held my head high while talking to new friends over a drink or two.

Today I got to play around with different outfit combinations as I reinforce the notion that women’s fashion is SO much more fun and interesting than guy clothes. It’s taken some time to find the styles that work best for my body and style, but now that I have a good idea of what I like, it’s so fun to play with outfits, especially when you can get a great deal on them.

I hope you all are having a great fall season out there and get to enjoy what’s just around the corner.

Much love,

Katie Amor

A Growing Family

IMG_0111So far, this summer has been full of hard work and satisfying rewards; from doing many little projects around our home, celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary, and in particular interest to this post, growing the family and friends who know the full me. Having the opportunity to open up to a good friend from work and my brother-in-law have been some big highlights of the summer thus far.

Apart from all the hard work, I’ve taken some time to enjoy watching some soccer on TV, especially the woman’s world cup. A good friend from work has also been following the world cup very closely and after work one day we decided to meet up, along with my wife, at a local bar to support the USA. I had thought about opening up to my work friend, G, because I knew she was a very open minded friend, being very proactive in many progressive groups in the city, and since we had many overlapping friends who knew about Katie, I though this would be a good opportunity to talk to her about my gender views.

At half time, my wife and I were discussing, along with G, about the pride parade coming up in the fall. I’m sure it’s held in the fall because it’s just too damn hot in the middle of summer to hold a parade. I told G that I wanted to make plans to go this year because it holds a special place for me, having gone out for the first time as Katie in public almost three years ago at pride. As with all my other experiences, it was overwhelmingly positive. We talked about gender roles in society, trans issues, and we also had a fun discussion about drag and RuPaul’s Drag Race, as she’s a HUGE fan. My wife and I talked about the different seasons, who were our favorite contestants, and about how we’d love to go see Bianca Del Rio perform!

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Love spending some time on the patio!

My next big step was over the 4th of July weekend. I had an extra day off, and since the weather had turned much cooler than normal, I took the opportunity to dress up for the 4th, especially having been over a month since my last time all dolled up. I was enjoying the cooler weather, catching up on social media, when my brother-in-law, R, texted me in the evening and wanted to know if I’d like to play some games online. Later that night, while still in full makeup, I logged on and we played some games while chatting over Skype. During this time I made sure that my webcam was off so he couldn’t see me. At this point it’s important to say that my wife and I had talked about telling her brother about Katie, especially since my wife and R are quite close compared to the rest of the family.

During our gaming session, he told me that his son and wife were at a family’s place and that he was by himself. I thought this would be a great time to talk to him one on one about Katie, so before we logged off at the end of the night, I told him I had something important to talk about. At this point my heart was pumping fast as I told him that I was going to turn on the webcam and that he would see something different and that I would explain everything.

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It’s getting late and the makeup is hold up well!

Just as before, the experience and reaction was incredibly positive. I began to talk about my past and how I got to this point. Why I decided to open up to him and where the future might take me. R has made choices in his life that he wanted to make for himself, despite what others might have wanted for him. I respect his independence and I think he understood where I was coming from when I told him that I was so much happier now than before, having chosen to be open and honest with myself and others about who I really am. It’s a great feeling when you can open up to someone and no longer have any secrets and nothing to hide. At least now he knows why I love playing strong female characters whenever it’s an option in games. 🙂

After we logged off my heart was still pounding, and as I started to come down from the adrenaline rush, I felt nothing but joy. After taking a shower and heading to bed, I saw that R had texted me. It was an amazing text, because it was only about games and which one we should get next to play online. We went back to normal very quickly, as revealing Katie was no huge thing, in a good way if that makes sense. It wasn’t a roadblock to our relationship.

The next day, R and I texted that we would only talk to his son about Katie when the time was right (he just turned 5). I told R that I was 100% okay with that decision since he’s the father and it’s not my place to say otherwise. I’m sure it’ll be an interesting discussion to have in the future, but one that I know will go well, since R and his wife are raising their son to be open minded and teaching that things aren’t as simple as black or white, that things don’t always fall into two categories, but that life can be a wonderful and beautiful rainbow of possibilities.

I hope you all are having a great summer and staying cool!

Much love to all,

Katie Amor

Doubt

As someone who is a natural introvert, the last couple of weeks have been quite a nice and healthy change to my normal routine.  My wife and I (as Katie) went to visit some good friends in Mississippi while also making some new ones, and we also went out to see a local theater group putting on a drag variety show, which was so much fun.

I usually get a chance to dress up as Katie 2-3 times a month, and over the last couple of years I’ve only been out on the town just a hand full of times.  I usually like going out as Katie with a group of close friends, as I like having that comfort and support of a group.  This of course is not always easy to schedule, especially when so many friends around us are nurses, who have all kinds of crazy schedules.

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Road trip!

When we made the plan to visit our good friend MP in Mississippi, someone who I came out to early on and has shown so much love and support, I brought up the idea of Katie making the road trip down, since it had been a long time since she had see her.  This trip would also give me a chance to meet MP’s boyfriend, N, who would be meeting Katie for the first time.  I was a little concerned about N’s reaction, even though MP had told her boyfriend about Katie, and he was totally cool with it. Even still, I was a little worried.  My concerns melted away as N and I had an awesome and deep conversation, talking about Katie and gender before the conversation moved to friendships, and finally food (since he’s a chef, yum!!).  This experience again instills the idea that when you talk to someone one-to-one, great things can happen, and new friendships can develop.

At this event, there was another good friend MM, who was new to Katie as well, but was completely supportive and lovely.  About 5 min away from arriving to the event, MP texted me saying that MM was bringing a guy to the party who no one had met before.  In the past this simple thing would have twisted my stomach up.  What would happen? What’s he going to think of me? But I didn’t mind, and told her that it was all good.  I was confident in myself (getting my makeup and outfit down pat really helps with that) and I was amongst good friends.

It's fun to be so inappropriate!

It’s fun to be so inappropriate!

When MM arrived with this new guy, I was again a little concerned.  When this guy introduced himself around the room, he came up to me and asked “what’s your name?”.  In the past, I would have said they could call me by my male or female name, I didn’t mind.  But this time I told this guy “you can call me Katie”.  It was quite an empowering experience actually, asserting myself like that.  After the introductions and the conversation with N we had a great time playing some Card Against Humanity, a great game for people who don’t mind being inappropriate. 😉

Before long, it was time to drive back home, but before we left we made plans with MP and MM to go to a drag variety show the following weekend.  We had plans to make an epic girl’s night out, with the idea of wearing my new red dress and favorite jacket.

Love this dress!!

Love this dress!!

So now fast forward a week and the preparations for the big night.  Unfortunately, our friend MP was really under the weather and couldn’t make the drive to Memphis.  Now it was just going to be my wife and I going to the show, which started to stress me out as worry started to settle in again; going out in public, just the two of us, not in the best part of town, at night, wearing a dress and hells.  I just hope that with the more I do go out, the easier it will be and the less stress I put on myself.  I worked myself up so much I had to make repeated trips to the bathroom.

In previous years, doubt might have gotten the best of me and I would have thought about either not going or not going as Katie, but this time doubt only got a piece of me.  I wasn’t going to wear that dress, I was going to wear something that I felt comfortable in.  At least I’m making some progress I guess….  Anyways, we made it to the theater, taking a moment to take a picture in front of a popular Memphis sign, and then heading into the show.  The lady taking the tickets said with a smile “how are you, gorgeous?”, which just made my day.  It was at this point that the worry melted away and I began to ask myself “why did I work myself up so much?”.  I really need to stop doubting myself so often and realize that there is nothing to worry about.

The show was amazing, with many beautify, talented, and hilarious local performers.  We really do have some amazing theater groups here in Memphis, many more than in other cities, and we were more than happy to support these groups.  After the show, we had to walk a couple of block back to the car, which again wasn’t without worry given the neighborhood, especially as we walked by a random guy walking down the sidewalk while loudly talking to himself.  Yikes!  We made it home safe and happy that we had watched a very entertaining show.

So, while I had a great time out to a friend’s house, and out to a show, I still have some work to do for myself.  I have to work on not doubting myself so much, and work on not always relying on the comfort of a large group, as it’s not something that we can often plan.  As a good friend would say, people with pitchforks aren’t going to hunt you down, and that was certainty not the case the last couple of weeks.  Instead of pitchforks, it was love.

Much love to you all,

Katie Amor

Sharp Contrast

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Wiseacre, our favorite brewery in town!

As many of you know I have a love of beer, which leads to my wife and I enjoying ourselves whenever we go to a beer festival.  During our last beer-tasting event I was reminded of how sharp the contrast between the two ends of my identity can be sometimes, swinging from one end to another in no time flat.

We visited our favorite local brewery, which was hosting their first beer-tasting event and got to make a new friend.  There we were, getting something to eat at an awesome food truck that parked for the event, when my wife sparked up a conversation with a stranger wearing a gay pride shirt.  She said how we’re big allies of the LGBT community, which is when I stepped in to say that I was more than an ally, I was part of the T in LGBT, and told him all about Katie, only moments after getting his name.  Afterwards, I found it so interesting how a simple shirt got me to open up to a complete stranger.  I guess it’s part of me being much more comfortable with who I am.

Good people, beer, music.....and trains!

Good people, beer, music…..and trains!

It was just a few minutes after talking to our new friend when things swung sharply.  One of my ice hockey teammates (I play on a local recreational adult team) walked up to say hi, which is when we stopped talking about our favorite drag queens in town, and started talking about beer and hockey.  As you could imagine, a locker room environment filled with guys doesn’t make for the most reassuring environment, so needlessly to say, I don’t see myself coming out to any of my hockey pals.  Once my hockey friend left to browse the options, we resumed to talk about the local LGBT community, drag, and gender.  To be honest, I’m surprised I didn’t get whiplash, LOL.

Looking back on this day, I’m happy that I took the opportunity to make a new friend in the local community, which in the end was one of the goals I wanted to work on for the year.  This day also makes me think, why have such abrupt swings? I guess it’s a necessity for the moment.  I have for a long time felt that my gender views are a private matter, not secret in that no one should know, but a private matter that a select few are privy to.  In a perfect world it would be nice to speak on these matters open to everyone, but we’re still working our way there.

Anyways, it’s almost time for the World Cup, and it’s going to be a month full of excitement.  Excitement for my home county and excitement for my adopted county.

!Vamos Argentina!

!Vamos Argentina!

Much love to all,

Katie

The Weekend Chores

I’m happy that I have a couple of nice wigs in my closet, one old Jon Renau Zara wig, which I wear around the apartment, and my new Zara wig, which is brand new and shinny for when I go out, but of course, with double the wigs comes double the work in maintaining them.  When I first started buying wigs, I had no clue how to take care of them, and my old Zara wig shows the wear and tare from the initial neglect.  I bought some cheap synthetic wig shampoo and conditioner from a big company and after washing the wig in cold water, taking my time to untangle all the fibers, and applying the conditioner, I wasn’t completely happy with the end result.  It wasn’t like new.

When I bought my new Zara wig late last year, I bought some new shampoo and conditioner from the company that makes the wig (Jon Renau), and boy does it make a difference.  It does take quite some time to go through the wig, piece by piece to untangle the fibers, but the end result is silky and smooth, especially after applying the conditioner.  It’s so nice to be able to run your fingers through the hair and not have them get caught up.  With regular washing and proper care, I’m sure I’ll be keeping my hair in good shape for quite some time, and save some $$$.

I hope you all had a great weekend,

Katie