New Found Perspectives

As with so many of my previous outings and big events, I like to look at those experiences and try to see how my perspectives have changed and what I’ve learned about myself. With my recent trip to the Twin Cities to visit my friend Hannah and the MN-T Girls group, my views have definitely changed and I certainty have learned quite a lot about myself from such a huge opportunity.

One of the big things I noticed looking back (especially compared to the first time I ever went out in public) was how relaxed and excited I was. In previous occasions, I used to work myself up so much, mentally and physically, about heading out in public, worrying about the general public and what they thought. But by the time I was due to meet Hannah at a nice restaurant in downtown Minneapolis on a Friday night, I wasn’t nervous at all. I was more excited than anything else! The same goes for the day I met up with all the other girls for drinks and dinner.  Looking back, this was a big step forward because I hated how anxious I would get sometimes, and now I feel like I can do whatever I want. I don’t care much that I may be 6’6” in heels, and don’t have a voice to match my appearance. This trip really made me focus on the important things, which is to enjoy the company one has around them, and I definitely did!

IMG_5676

My “light” look… 🙂

The positive experiences continued the next day when Hannah, my wife, and I got some makeovers done at an Ulta store by a wonderful makeup artist. But before we meet up at Ulta, I had to do some light makeup, which if you know me at all is a difficult thing for me to do. I love doing big bold eyes and generally makeup on the heavier side of things, but since I was getting makeup done I didn’t want to do my full treatment and I didn’t want to go without any makeup either. That being said, I was happy to learn that I could do a lighter look, something more appropriate for a daytime look.  While Hannah was getting her makeup done at Ulta, I wondered around the store with a smile on my face. I was happy to be out in the world, doing everyday things, being the individual I wanted to be on that day, with great company in tow. What more could one ask for!

The absolutely biggest thing I learned or realized about myself came to me after we made it back home to Memphis. Going forward, getting all dressed up and having a day in at the house won’t mean as much as it once did. What I mean is now that I’ve pushed my comfort zone to new limits, what I used to do, just won’t do any more. There are new frontiers to explore as Katie and I hope to keep pushing myself with every opportunity that comes along.

One has to be confident and fill ones space to show the world we belong and we don’t have anything to be afraid about. It was great to have this feeling reaffirmed and pushed to new heights.

I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving. Much love to all,

Katie Amor

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About katieinthehall

I'm a rediscovered crossdresser in my early 30's looking to express my thoughts as I move through this journey of discovery.

Posted on November 25, 2015, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Hi Katie!
    I’m new to your blog and enjoyed reading your adventures and insight. I am a Minnesota T Girl and wished that I could of made the outing to meet you, but family plans were made. I’m so glad and happy for you getting out finding new… I’m at a loss for a word. I myself have been going out in public for around 30 year’s now, it was a lonely time thinking that I was the only girl for miles around that was like me. Then one night almost two years ago searching on the PC I came upon a lovely girl named Hannah. She was and is in my life as… I didn’t have a name for myself then…Kassaundra Leigh, Kass or Sandy for short. gave me a new outlook on who I am, some advice, and friendship, this I’m so very thankful to her for that. As for your recent outing I too understand pushing outward, dressing at home has some meaning but the excitement is not. Like you and Hannah it’s getting out setting new goals, being who I am and representing our community. I live in a small town, 3000 population, and I have shopped and been in town on a few occasions. I’m not out openly and I do keep it guarded, but at times wish I could share of who I am both sides to girls like us. Anyway I’ve kinda rambled on a little when today I wish you and your wife and family a very Happy Thanksgiving! Take care. Love,Kass!

    • Hi Kass! I’m sure my trip up north won’t be the last, so maybe next time I visit we can all meet up! It’s so rewarding reading about experiences and advances others have made, even better when you can share such stories in person with some wonderful people. I see strong people out there pushing forward and representing themselves and our community well. I don’t want to sit on the sidelines as others make their impressions on the world, I want to join in on the fun! 🙂 A happy and warm Thanksgiving to you!
      Much love,
      Katie

  2. “The absolutely biggest thing I learned or realized about myself came to me after we made it back home to Memphis. Going forward, getting all dressed up and having a day in at the house won’t mean as much as it once did. What I mean is now that I’ve pushed my comfort zone to new limits, what I used to do, just won’t do any more. There are new frontiers to explore as Katie and I hope to keep pushing myself with every opportunity that comes along.”

    “One has to be confident and fill ones space to show the world we belong and we don’t have anything to be afraid about. It was great to have this feeling reaffirmed and pushed to new heights.”

    Wow…I am quoting the closing to your lovely article as it moved me to share my perspective on this.

    Going “out” is such a one-way street…while my “going out” was not in full femme mode, I was certainly presenting female characteristics and it’s a bell that can’t be un-rung. I am still trying to dissect what exactly it is about being “out” that makes the experience so strong. I think its as simple as being able to show the world who I am and owning it.

    My dear wife and I were talking about this very topic last night and she stated (and I agreed) that, given her OK, I (in full Kathi mode) would be drinking coffee in Starbucks without a care in the world. There is an innate drive in me to be seen as I AM. It’s a nervous time to be out as my true “self” as it opens me up to criticism and mockery…but I don’t care.

    What is the indescribable exhilaration to show oneself to the world as YOURSELF? I don’t understand it, but I think it’s somewhere in the self-actualization stage of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

    • Hi Kathi!! I’m happy that this little post made you want to share your perspectives. I think one big thing we look for is recognition/affirmation in the world, that we exist and that we belong. I too find it so interesting why we find the need to express our selves by going out and doing everyday things. I think that by doing normal activities we can show to ourselves that this other side to us is nothing but normal. It’s an interesting topic to think over… 🙂 I hope you get a chance to enjoy some coffee and much more out in the world.

  3. Hi Katie,
    Love your blog, your stories are always so interesting and inspiring. And the excellent photos….your makeup style and clothing choices always compliment each other well, with such nice lighting and camera angles.
    – Lea

    • Thank you so much for the compliment Lea. Photography is something I’ve always loved to do, and in recent years makeup has become another creative outlet for me. I just love how the two things together can create a powerful impact.

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