Laying the Groundwork

Since last Christmas I’ve been thinking that at some point I’ve got to open up to my parents and tell them about Katie.  I decided that I had to achieve this goal after talking to a friend of my wife’s from high school, who is underdoing hormone treatment as a transgender man.  I had the wonderful opportunity to talk to our friend about Katie during our holiday family visit last year, and through our conversation I realized I needed to be open to my family, just as he had done with his family.

I was thinking about telling my folks during our visit to Ohio later this year for the holidays, but that idea changed last week.  My mom called early last week asking if they could visit us for the weekend, which was a bit on short notice, but since we didn’t have any plans, we said “sure, come on down”.   Throughout the week, I couldn’t help but think that this was an opportunity, since I only get to see my parents a couple times a year, to sit them down and explain to them the changes I’ve gone through the last few years; changes that have made my life so much happier.

On Friday my mind was going around in circles, and as someone who likes to plan everything possible, I was working out in my mind how this was going to go down.  We went out for a nice dinner on Friday night, and then did some sightseeing on Saturday.  We toured Sun Studios, checked out the Peabody hotel ducks, went to a movie (Despicable Me 2), and then finished with a nice dinner Saturday night.  In the end, I just ran out of time.  There were many occasions when the words I wanted to say were at the tip of my tongue, but I just hesitated at the last moment.

At least during some conversations over dinner, certain things were said that made me think that coming out is a good idea.  Conversation about being happy with who you are, no matter what others think helped me to picture a positive outcome when I do open up.

So…what did I take out of the experience?  I think I was able to laydown the groundwork for what I wanted to do by the end of the year.  I worked out what I wanted to say, and how to say it, so I don’t think this was a lost opportunity.  At least I feel as if I’m making the personal progress that I want to make in order to grow as an individual.




About katieinthehall

I'm a rediscovered crossdresser in my early 30's looking to express my thoughts as I move through this journey of discovery.

Posted on August 5, 2013, in Be Yourself, Coming out, Family/Friends and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.

  1. Yay, you! Honestly, even thinking about telling my family makes me shudder. My parents are gone, but many siblings remain. I get how hard it is to even think about it.

    • In years past I would never have though about telling family. This was the first time where I was so close to telling my parents. I think it’s a natural progression to be more open and honest with others, at least that’s how I see it. It’s still nerve-racking nonetheless.

      • Well, you look amazing and you have great style. If you ever introduce Katie to your family, they’ll probably be so awestruck at how pretty you are that they’ll just be happy for you.

      • Thank you for those kind words. I think they’ll get a sense of how happy I am, and with some confidence, it will all work out for the best. 🙂

      • I feel the same way! Years ago, it was silly to think my family would care about what I wear under my jeans, but as time passes and my female alter ego grows and creates a life for herself, the need to share this side of me grows….
        Good for you, beautiful!

        Love, Hannah

      • Thanks Hannah. We’ll all get there on our own time. I’m so happy that we have some great people online to share our thoughts with. 🙂

  2. This is just my thought, Katie and I don’t want to suggest you do it this way.
    As I’ve only seen and known you as Katie I can ‘t even imagine you any other way. I am very glad you have chosen to keep it that way because it might be more than a bit of a shock if I were to suddenly see you as your everyday self because then I would need to suspend my disbelief once again just as I have do each time you remind me of the fact that you don’t present as Katie full-time. For your family the opposite is true and it might be good idea for them to see you as Katie when they first arrive before you tell them about it because you will have committed yourself and will be unable to talk yourself out of it. Again, just a thought, Katie. Break a leg!
    Deanna Joy

    • Thanks Deanna. I hadn’t even considered something like that. I’m sure it would be shocking, to say the least, but hopefully in a good way. I’ve got plenty of time to think it over before our holiday visit.

  3. Good for you Katie! I am so super impressed.

    My advise, yeah don’t be in girl mode. The experience can be a little too overwhelming for everyone involved. Not that I have ever done it that way, but I have heard of too many horror stories from others when they have approached it that way.

    When I have told others, I have been in guy mode and then upon their request have shown them pictures of myself on my blog. Then they were intrigued and wanted to meet me in girl mode.

    But when I told my sister, she was fine with it and told me she had always suspected it, but really has not been interested in seeing or meeting me while dressed as a girl.

    Okay, so maybe a little long winded opinion of how I think you should go about it, but whatever!

    I think it is great that you are becoming more comfortable with who you are and more willing to share who you are with those that love and care about you. Good for you!

    • Thank you Nadine for your thoughts, it’s always insightful and helpful. I think I’ll just stick to a nice conversation with my folks as their son and take it from there. I feel like this is the right step for me, which makes me feel confident that I can do this, it’s just a matter of finding the right time.

  4. I know that hesitant pause well. It sounds like you have it well thought and are in a good place so perhaps the instinct was best. The holidays can be very tough time to tell family from what I hear but when there is great distances involved such as mine it is either that or over the phone for me. Your wonderful self exudes from you in all that I have seen so I am sure anyone that you tell will see it to.
    Peace and Smiles – Anna

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