A Girl’s Got To Have Standards

A couple of weeks ago I decided to take the plunge and open up a Facebook account as Katie Amor.  I wasn’t sure what to expect from this decision.  I thought it might be something like my guy Facebook account, where I have a small number of close friends who I’m connect with, and for the most part, there isn’t a whole lot going on.  I might check it a couple of times a day.  But what I encountered was a bit overwhelming, actually a LOT overwhelming.  I was close to saying “the heck with it all, I’m done”, and deactivate the account.

I started out by sending a few friend request and figured it would take a long time to build up a friends list of people I’d like to befriend.  Things changed in an exponential way when on one particular day this week I got 80 friend requests!  This was insane, and they kept coming, day after day, hundreds of people.  I was spending a LOT of time going through the list and seeing if I knew the person, or if I even wanted to accept the request, and of course as I’m doing this, the requests keep piling on.  This is not something I’m used to and it started to overwhelm me.

The worst part were the requests from people who apparently had no problem posting all kinds of near naked pictures, or other tasteless things.  I even got a couple of really creepy messages that totally threw me off.  Stuff out of a horror movie.  After taking a couple of days off, and thinking about it, I decided the best thing to do was to hack away at my friends list, set up a standard for myself to accept new requests, and keep things small and simple to manage.  I’d like to use my account to be able to connect with the small number of people or groups I’d like to comment on as Katie Amor.  I don’t want to have this huge thing where I’m spending tons of time managing it.  I want to spend time with my friends/family, reading some more David Sedaris books, and catch up on some video games I’ve missed out on (Skyrim takes up a lot of time).

Lesson learned:  Setup a standard for yourself, especially if you’re someone who doesn’t want everyone in the world to know or comment on what you do.  Keep things small and simple, it’ll help to cut down on the stress and anxiety.



About katieinthehall

I'm a rediscovered crossdresser in my early 30's looking to express my thoughts as I move through this journey of discovery.

Posted on July 18, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. I like your end conclusion. It is undoubtedly for the best.

    I have thought about opening a FB account but have yet to do so. I can’t see much of a reason to do it considering I hardly ever check my male FB. I have even been thinking of deleting my male account entirely. Funny enough, I suppose with even writing my own blog I am kind of anti social.

    I am happy you wrote about your experiences, I think I enjoyed reading about it more than I would enjoy doing it.

    • I’m happy to hear that it was helpful. I find it interesting how some people have no problem letting anyone and everyone into their lives. I’m totally the opposite. I also experienced a new feeling I might have to write a post on. I got a couple of messages from random guys who only saw my profile picture (I put up one of my favorites) and wrote me messages as if they were trying to pick me up at a bar. Writing about how stunning I look and such. It was bizarre and a totally new experience. I was asking myself “are you only looking at my picture? You know that I’m more that just a face, right?” Strange…

  2. FB has a way (at least they used to) to set your account to not accept friend requests, so you can have more control over your friend list. Might be worth looking at…

  3. I’m glad you accepted my request. 🙂 I get messages every so often from guys who are sending all these “Hello beautiful” type messages, and it makes me wonder, are they T-admirers, or are they just clueless that I’m trans? I usually just delete those messages because I’m thinking a lot of them are scams anyway.

    • It’s been one heck of an experience for sure. After watching a couple of episodes of that Cat Fish show on MTV, I can’t help but scrutinize a lot of the requests that come through. It’s someones hard to tell if something is spam or even real. So far, the experience is a lot better.

  4. I am really glad to see you on facebook as the platform is really intended for interactions in a way that blogging does not support very well. I have yet to experience the barrage you mention but I’m sure it is linked to you being stunning. I have been careful of my friends list and most are easy to spot as less than genuine. So glad you stuck it out on facebook and found a way to keep it manageable. 🙂

    • After the initial barrage, I have found it a rewarding venture. I’ve been able to connect with some wonderful people from all sorts of backgrounds. Those who are transitioning, those who are gender fluid, etc… We’ll keep on connecting and spreading the word. 🙂

  5. Sorry to comment on such an old entry but I came across your blog and really enjoyed going through the archives, this one in particular. I often find myself in the same boat as far as trying to filter the signal from the noise. On one hand you don’t want to be adding anyone and everyone who comes along since it does get overwhelming, but on the other you don’t want to close it off too much and miss the opportunity to connect with the real, genuine people out there. I tend to err towards the latter, though do sometimes wonder how many more valuable connections I would make if I let my guard down just a little bit. :)~

    • Hi Kristi, thanks for stopping by. I learned very quickly that it was a bad idea for me to let anyone into my life. Looking back to this post things have gotten much better since I’ve been able to maintain a balance, which is sometimes easier said than done.

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