Monthly Archives: July 2013
Hannah and I recently did a little Q&A session just asking each other some questions. I think this will be a great way to get to know someone new and get to discuss some topics on a more personal level. Here’s the first question I asked Hanna, and some additional thoughts from me, enjoy! Oh, and if you have any questions, about anything really, don’t hesitate to ask either one of us.
I was chatting with my friend Hannah not long ago and I just had to ask her “do you ever have issues with the term crossdresser”? I sometimes have issues with the term because of what you often find when searching for the term “crossdressing/crossdresser” on sites like tumblr, Flickr, or Facebook. You’ll find a ton of pictures that are straight up porn than anything else. When it comes to crossdressing, I don’t do it to take half naked pictures to post online (I’m not suggesting it’s wrong), I do it because Katie is a part of my identity. She is so much more than a sex symbol, character, or persona that I experience when I have the time to dress up. So when I come out to a friend, what am I going to say I do? Hannah’s response was:
I do love the term because it has the word ‘dress in it…but I know exactly what you mean. I would love to create a new word for girls like us. The term suggests fetishism and sexualization of what we do.
The thing I love about her answer, after taking time to think about the issue, was the very first part. It’s so simple, and not over thought. We sometimes live too much in our own heads, which is sometimes counterproductive. Enjoy the things that you love, no matter what anyone else thinks, be it shoes, makeup, fashion, and of course dresses.
I could write on and on about how I see terms like transgender or crossdresser. The thing is that I’m still working on figuring it out, and if I try to over think things too much and place myself in a category, the more that I’ll lose sight on a broader community of people. I’ve had the pleasure of befriending so many wonderful individuals from all sorts of different backgrounds that I wouldn’t want to overlook. When I do come out to someone new in person, it is never easy to sum it up into one term, although I often do use the terms crossdresser and trans to start a broader (and intensive) conversation to explain how I see myself.
In a perfect word, I would love to be like Janelle Monáe. She is a different and fearless artist, and has battled people from labeling her (this BuzzFeed article is really cool) . We are all trying to be fearless.
So…who am I? I am at most times my male self, but not entirely so; and I am also Katie, but again not entirely so. It’s not always clear living in the middle, flowing from one end to another. I’m not entirely sure what you would call that, or if it even matters. I just need to try and ignore it, and enjoy life. Keep in simple even if it seems complicated.
A couple of weeks ago I decided to take the plunge and open up a Facebook account as Katie Amor. I wasn’t sure what to expect from this decision. I thought it might be something like my guy Facebook account, where I have a small number of close friends who I’m connect with, and for the most part, there isn’t a whole lot going on. I might check it a couple of times a day. But what I encountered was a bit overwhelming, actually a LOT overwhelming. I was close to saying “the heck with it all, I’m done”, and deactivate the account.
I started out by sending a few friend request and figured it would take a long time to build up a friends list of people I’d like to befriend. Things changed in an exponential way when on one particular day this week I got 80 friend requests! This was insane, and they kept coming, day after day, hundreds of people. I was spending a LOT of time going through the list and seeing if I knew the person, or if I even wanted to accept the request, and of course as I’m doing this, the requests keep piling on. This is not something I’m used to and it started to overwhelm me.
The worst part were the requests from people who apparently had no problem posting all kinds of near naked pictures, or other tasteless things. I even got a couple of really creepy messages that totally threw me off. Stuff out of a horror movie. After taking a couple of days off, and thinking about it, I decided the best thing to do was to hack away at my friends list, set up a standard for myself to accept new requests, and keep things small and simple to manage. I’d like to use my account to be able to connect with the small number of people or groups I’d like to comment on as Katie Amor. I don’t want to have this huge thing where I’m spending tons of time managing it. I want to spend time with my friends/family, reading some more David Sedaris books, and catch up on some video games I’ve missed out on (Skyrim takes up a lot of time).
Lesson learned: Setup a standard for yourself, especially if you’re someone who doesn’t want everyone in the world to know or comment on what you do. Keep things small and simple, it’ll help to cut down on the stress and anxiety.
Hey everyone, my friend Anna just opened up a T-Shirt shop online with Trans related designs she prepared. Check out her Annalogies shop, I think it’s so cool!
With the a long weekend on hand I thought I would finally get around to making some of the changes I’ve been wanting to make for a long time. First of all, and maybe most importantly is my name. For a long time I’ve been just going by the name Katie. What about a last name? Well, I’m usually horribly with names, and I just couldn’t think of a last name to use for myself. How does one just pick a name? Would it fit me? Do I want to use a family name? Since starting this blog, I’ve just ignored the job of picking a last name until recently when I spent hours getting my google, google+, and YouTube accounts straightened out. With the new account policies, I was required to give a full name. As someone with a hispanic background, I knew that I wanted it to be spanish in nature, and something that fit me. After spending time on websites with name ideas, and scrolling though the lists saying “No”, “That’s not me”, “Too generic”, I finally came up with Amor, the spanish word for love. Katie Amor, I think that will do just fine.
With the full name in place I was also able to finally open a Facebook account. Now I can comment on all my liked pages, and connect with new people without the worry of being inadvertently outed to anyone who knows me only as my male self.
The last change was to the header of the blog. It used to say “Random thoughts from a rediscovered crossdresser”. I thought it was about time to move forward, not someone who is rediscovering the past, but as someone who is living in the present and looking towards the future.
I hope you all have a great weekend,