Cocktails, Friends, and a Conversation
I recently spent some time with a close friend and had a wonderful conversation over a couple of drinks at an awesome pizza/pub joint in Memphis. This friend has been very supportive of me coming out to her, and has asked some interesting questions about Katie, which I’m more than happy to answer. We got on the subject of what it is to be a woman, and the goals that I want to achieve and respect as I move forward.
When I first started down this road of self discover two years ago, I was easily attracted to the “fun” aspects of femininity. I loved the clothes, learning about fashion, and appreciating the creativity that makeup has provided me. And I can’t forget about the shoes, oh those beautiful. Sexy. Heels. By the way I just got these tall Nine West stunners! And for a great deal too!!!
Anyways, back to the point. During the conversation with my friend, I stressed to her that I wanted to better understand what it means to be a woman. Just like I make a conscious effort to balance my relationship with my wife K, I want to have a balanced appreciation of womanhood.
There are many people around me who have helped by sharing their experiences with me. I had my first experience being hit on during a drag show, which took me totally by surprise, and made me think of things in a new light, especially when I had no clue on how to react to the attention. I’ve had plenty of friends who’ve received unwanted attention from guys, and in completely random places too. Being hit on at a gun range, while holding a gun being one such case! As a guy, I never think about being hit on, and I’ve never had to deal with the creepy feelings some situations can provide.
As my male self, I have no problem walking the downtown streets, most of the time not looking over my shoulder at any seedy individuals. I have a new found appreciation of why my wife and female friends carry around pepper spray. I could not imagine being in a situation where I’m watching over my shoulder, looking out for where trouble might come from.
One can look further at these issues by thinking about how many woman are objectified, how they may be treated in the workplace, and how on average, they make less in pay than their male counterparts. One could also think about how much respect I am showing to woman if all I do is dress up as Katie and stay home, and avoid facing the real world outside.
In the end, I think it is immensely important for me to have a balanced appreciation of what it is to be a woman in today’s society. I would feel guilty indulging in the “fun” aspects of femininity while I’m dressed up as Katie, and not think about the challenges of an everyday woman. It’s not right, and it’s not respectful. I will never fully understand what it means to be a woman, but I want to make that effort to better understand, and be a better man, a better husband, and someday, a better father.