Monthly Archives: May 2012

Men & Femininity

Once again I have to thank K for forwarding me this youtube channel, she has helped me find all kinds of good stuff.  I’m now a big fan of Laci Green, who has lots of positive videos and tumblr posts, dealing with all kinds of issues.  This video is one of my favorites.


An Overdue Thank You

A few weeks ago I was recognized by Kira Moore and transbeautiful for my little-o-blog, and I want to thank them for the recognition.  Sorry it’s taken me a while to get to this.  I always look forward to reading what Kira has to write about, and I do try my best to keep up with her adventure.  Transbeautiful is a wonderful blog written by the mother of a trans youth, which has opened my eyes to a new perspective on things.

All the blogs I list in the side bar, are blogs I follow and look forward to reading (I need to keep updating it as it grows).  I’ve been thinking lately at how things have changed since starting this blog nearly 5 months ago.  My original intent was to use the blog as a way to explain myself to friends I had come out to.  I also was looking forward to making connections within the trans community, and I am overwhelmed at where this has lead me.

I have connected with some wonderful people from all different kinds of background.  With my personal friends and online friends, I have been able to understand myself better, and have a better idea of where I’m going, which is a personal road for each of us.  One thing I’ve realized is that the road may be my own, but that doesn’t mean I have to travel it alone.  I have great friends to accompany my journey.

Thank you again,


Friday Quotes

“I see the potential for a new world being born in front of me and all around me, and I feel the only way to bring that potential into being is to know myself”

Gary Zukav

I couldn’t agree more.  I hope you all have a great holiday weekend,




Hello from Arizona. This week I’m here for a work related conference, where I was asked to present my first poster, summarizing the work we’ve done over the last year and a half. I knew I was going to attend this conference since January, and prepared thoroughly for my poster presentation.

The way that these conferences work is that you have big seminars where an individual talks about their work and there are plenty of people interested and attentive. Then there are poster sessions, where you have a hundred or more people with big posters outlining their work and people walk around and ask questions to the poster presenters.

I had spent weeks preparing my poster, stressing over it, getting it just right. Along with my boss, I was happy with the end result. This 4′ x 4′ poster represented all the work my colleagues and I worked so hard for. The poster covered topics I was familiar with, along with topics I hardly knew anything about, so I spent hours and hours doing my homework to better understand these topics, in case anyone asked. I always like to be as prepared as possible.

The title of this post is called dejection, because that’s how I feel, dejected. Before the session started, I hung my poster and had my business cards ready to go. To make a short story out of it, it sucks to watch people glance at your hard work for a second (if that) and then just walk away to the next poster. I had a feeling this was going to happen. There are so many fields in my work, and most people are interested really only in their own field. It still doesn’t make me feel any better. So much preparation and stress.

At least a couple of people stopped by and asked some basic questions, which I was more than eager to talk about. I can at least say there are some positives that came out of this trip. I got to hear some nice seminars, and since I did my homework before coming here, I now know my area of study a lot better.

Anyways, now that all that stress is off my shoulders, I can look forward to a long weekend where I’ll have plenty of time to indulge in my feminine side. Goodness knows that I need it!

I hope my next post is a little bit more positive,


Today is May 17th and IDAHO day, or international day against homophobia and transphobia.  To be honest, in years past, this date didn’t hold much significance to me.  Don’t take it that the wrong way, I’ve always been an open minded person, especially when it comes to a persons right to be happy.

Since realizing that I was “different”, a crossdresser, which I guess falls under the all encompassing T of LGBT (as I’ve said before, these categories and terms confuse the heck out of me), I’ve had the fortune of making many new friends.  Many homosexual, some transgender, and some that would say they are whatever the hell they want to be.  One of these friends said on their Facebook page not long ago, that it’s not a phobia, it’s not about being afraid of people who are different, it’s about being an a-hole.  I definitely liked his status.

Since making these new friends in a new community, I’ve started to take notice of news articles involving LGBT issues.  Some times the news is positive, like Obama’s openness towards same-sex marriage, while other news items bring me to the brink of tears.  When you pay close attention, there are so many young people, going through the pressures of learning who they are, who end up being abused, assaulted, or worse.

This reminds me of the “WTF” podcast (hosted my Mark Maron) episode with comedian Todd Glass, where he came out publicly as gay.  Todd said the main reason he had to come out, was to speak out against the violence and suicide among the youth.

So on this day, I hope that we can all move forward towards love and acceptance for all.

Just a few thoughts I had today,


4 Moms

First of, happy Mother’s day to all the mothers out there.  I want to thank my mom for many things on this special day.  One of the most important lessons she ever taught me was to be happy.  She would often say to me, “just be happy”.  I have taken that lesson to its limit.  I am learning who I am, accepted myself, and I am more happy because of it.  Thanks to her, I’ve learned that each persons “happiness” can be very different from person to person.

I haven’t told my parents about my feminine side, and I don’t have plans to do so in the near term.  At the moment they are dealing with other family problems, mainly elderly parents with many health problems.  I know that right now isn’t the best time to tell them, if I ever decide to.  However, I think I know how they might react to the news that I am more than just a male, but a mix of mostly my male side with a splash of fabulous femininity.  I can see them ask “are you happy?”.  Then I would say that of course I am.  Then they would say that that’s all that matters, just be happy.

To all the mothers out there, I will never know what it is like to be a mother, but know that there are so many people out there that are appreciative of what you do.  Happy Mother’s day!!!


ps: I took this picture at the Memphis botanic gardens and actually gave a framed version to my mom. 🙂

I Want to Know…

This is a great video my wife forwarded me.  I must be honest and say it had me weeping by the end.  Such a strong and powerful message.  I find this message very fitting considering the week it’s been, with the North Carolina vote, and president Obama coming out in support of same sex marriage.

Memphis In May

Memphis in the month of May, what could be better?  The yearly Memphis in May festival is one of the reasons why I’m really getting to know this city so much better, and falling in love with our new home.  It helps us focus in the positives of what this city can offer and way from the negatives that are sometimes all too easy to find.

The Beale Street Music Festival, three days of music,  has anything from from small acts to big name mega stars.  We decided to head downtown to the Saturday events, and with with 5 stages, there’s a little bit for any music fan.  There are people who try to go for all three days, but I think my back would be dead after a couple of days.  And all this for $32 a person per day, what a deal!

We started the day by parking at my work (saving about $20 from parking downtown) and taking the trolley to the riverfront park.  It’s a wonderful way to take in the sights of the riverfront, all for a dollar a ride.  The vintage trolleys roll down the track with the wind blowing in through the open windows.  It really takes you back in time.

We got into the park just before the first acts hit the five stages at 2 pm.  We first got a drink and went to watch John Hiatt & The Combo.  A great old sound.  After a few songs, we headed over to the Blues Tent to watch Victor Wainwright and The Wildroots.  They rocked the tent.  There was an epic drum/piano dual that seemed to go on forever.  Victor about fell out of his chair while whaling on the keys.  There’s something about blues piano, like the harmonica, that just gets me hooked.  Needlessly to say, they got a roaring standing ovation.

Next up was Kenny Wayne Shepherd.  What can I say, one of my favorite performances.  As a Stevie Ray Vaughan fan, Kenny Wayne totally reminds me of his sound.  They played some of their new stuff along with some of the songs from their original album.  What else can I say, a great time was had.

Next up, back to the blues tent to listen to Robert “Wolfman” Belfour.  He’s near 80 years old and played on an empty stage.  His sound was genuine and you could actually see the blues on his face, the expressions cut deep in his face from years of playing.

By this time we hooked up with some friends and headed to watch Buddy Guy perform.  He mentioned more than once that he was 75 years old, and still knew how to have fun.  He sure showed it when he went on a never ending guitar solo while walking through the crowd.

After 5 hours it was time for a break, another drink, and a bite to eat.  The sun was setting and I was grateful that this year was bone dry, with no signs of rain (unlike other muddy years).  On our way to Al Green, we ran into some more friends and waited for the soul music to start.  We weren’t disappointed as Al Green tossed roses out into the crowd as he jammed out.  By 10 pm we were beat and decided to call it a night, especially since K had to get up early the next morning.  With another trolley ride back to our car, our day of music was over, spending Sunday recuperating.  Now it’s back to work…

Have a great week everyone,