Looking Way Ahead
Since discovering Katie and letting her evolve, I’ve spent everyday having some thoughts about her. Weather it be trivial things, like what kind of makeup look I want to try this weekend, to the deeper thoughts, like where am I going, who am I?
I’ve talked previously about some short-term goals I have for myself, but I’ve also spent a lot of time thinking about the long road ahead. My wife, K, and I are known to be planners and organizers. In fact, we have family and friends who joke about how we have things so organized. K has all her things in folders, and binders, all color-coded. I have spreadsheets with finances, and rough plans for our future. It was only in my nature to ask myself, what do we do about Katie when we decide to have kids? K still has a year or two before finishing her degree, and then we’d like to save for a house, and start plans for a family. We really haven’t talked at all about where Katie will fit in.
I know that this is something what will happen in the future, but the years can go by quickly. I also know that in the end, whatever happens, we’ll make the right choice for our family and our relationship. Over this past year, I know that Katie has become a deep part of who I am, and that person will never disappear, even for the sake of starting a family. I know that suppressing a part of yourself is not healthy for anyone.
I am going to be very interested in reading books, and doing research on other crossdressers who have had to deal with this issue, at least to give me insight on what we can do. I know there are some people who will hide this fact from their kids for as long as possible, and others who will be very open. There are challenges in either case, and we’ll have to find the right model that will work with us.
These are just some of the thoughts I have on a daily basis.